Holidays + CNY

After my very stressful exam, I had one week sem break and followed by a CNY break and PLUS one week self declared CNY holiday! CNY is as usual for all my years, going back to ipoh and relatives visiting My house. Nothing special!

After most of my schoolmates return to their studies, there's really no one left here till weekend! Haha. Enjoying my drama-ing life at home from morning till nite non stop! NICE! FANTASTIC! Anyhow, holiday is gonna over, got to return to uni where the place I don't feel like it! Seeing ppl that are more or less the same, bringing tonnes of unwanted memory.... Haha.... suddenly had this feeling.... had I ever chose a wrong course? wrong uni? wrong friend? Haha.... Anyway, it's going to be over. School days are going to end pretty soon and perhaps I'll miss all the times when I was studying when I go out to work in this bad economy time. It'll be a tough time for many ppl, unemployment rates increases and pp keep saying "accountants" do not lose their job and still are in a demand world wide!

At home feeling better when they are not at home. I wonder why they are speechless when they are in the same space, that makes me feel helpless. I know he is tired from work and I know she is tired of something. But why can't they tell?? Don't i have a right to know what's going on?? Haih.... Wat should I do?? Anyhow, situation are improving but the cool responses in a conversation is never easy to take. You'll feel it if you were here. Come on! I'm no longer a 3 year old girl and that you can try to hide somthing that is obvious. It's not that if you pretend to be nothing, it will seem nothing! It's definitely obvious! I thought of the worst case scenario and I dare not forecast further! I want to built trust that you will get it settle and solve by time and I believe you will take care of what we need! Now, I'm doing nothing although I know there's something wrong! If ever I would wanna do something, what should I do? what should I say to melt the ice between you?? You have feelings and anger to release and I definitely can understand provided that I know where does the wind come from! It's unfair for me to feel everything blindly, worried of something I don't know! Why can't communication be improved here? I'm not talkative and is used to be not that perfect in communication. You actually blamed me for my communication skill! But what about you? You are not doing any better than me... Ya, you can hide ur anger infront of ppl, you are able to hold your words but why would ever u need to hold them when it's not necessary if communication is efficient?? You start to think something that's not true to be true. That's mean of communication which you emphasised and why are you not powering it? Haih.... since Monday, I have been regreting to skip class and stay at home! Is it that everytime I stay at home something bad will just happened? Why am I always made to face such situation where you know I wouldn't do anything and say anything. And the only thing to do is to avoid.... going out of home miggle with friends and not stay at home as much as possible.... It's not a good sign ok??

my 3 weeks started with a smile and ended with tears.... why?? Haih!!! What's the problem now?? who is at fault now? You? You? I don't know and I will never know. Problems here happen by itself and end by itself and there's no third party that will know what exactly happened unless you tell! Why would you encorage this type of practise here? All my wishes to bless you to solve problem as soon as possible. Ya, I'm self centered. I want a peace and happy envronment where i live in and I do not like problems! You do not like it too I know and I undersand, problems can't be avoided so I hope it can be solved! Hope I can really end my holiday with a simle and not tears!!! Who will understand me now? Do you know what feeling it is?? There's no words to describe! It's even harder to descibe than to describe a feeling between lovers! All the best! GAMBATE!!!!!!